crazybighopeFeb 25, 20224 minWhat It Feels Like To Win The LotteryWhen you’re going through infertility you live every second of your life suspended between hope and disappointment: the disappointment...
crazybighopeAug 24, 20218 minEnding a Wanted Pregnancy Was The Hardest Decision Of My LifeMy husband and I still find it hard to talk about our termination for medical reasons, partly because of the deep conflict it created...
crazybighopeNov 20, 20204 minA Positive Pregnancy TestMy husband and I thought we would have to stop trying in August 2018, for the sake of our marriage. But slowly, our white-knuckle terror...
crazybighopeOct 22, 20204 minShould I Give Advice To Younger Friends?At the end of a few years doing battle with infertility I feel old, sad and, dare I say it, a tiny bit wise. Wisdom is not something you...
crazybighopeAug 16, 20204 minMiscarriageWhen I look back to the few weeks of my life that I spent pregnant before my first miscarriage I’m overwhelmed by this sense of crazy,...
crazybighopeJul 20, 20203 minWhy Can't I Stop Trying?Everyone knows that trying to conceive is grim. Constantly counting days. The scheduled sex. Was that an implantation cramp I just...
crazybighopeJun 29, 20202 minFeeling Distant From Friends And FamilyI always hoped that whatever happened in my life or theirs, my friends and I would have the empathy and imagination to walk with each...
crazybighopeJun 16, 20204 minWhere Has All My Energy Gone?If you’ve studied a bit of economics you’ll have come across the lump of labour. The idea that there’s a given amount of work needing...
crazybighopeJun 12, 20204 minRead This FirstI started writing because I wanted to share the feelings I have experienced over the last four years. Of course I’ve shared them - some...